5 Must-Know Dating Tips for Single Mothers Ready to Find Love Again

Dating as a Christian single mother can be quite a daunting journey, but it requires wisdom, balance, and intention. Here are five dos and don'ts for you to consider if (and I assume you do) you want a long-term relationships, with tips that are often overlooked but can make a significant difference:

1. Do Prioritise Your Emotional and Spiritual Health

• Why it’s important: Before bringing someone new into your life, make sure you are spiritually grounded and emotionally healed. This allows you to have the clarity and strength to make wise decisions in your dating life.

• Tip: Take time for personal growth. Pray, engage in a Bible study, or take a solo retreat if you can. It’s not about “fixing” yourself, but about becoming whole as a woman, so you can give your best in a relationship. If you don't know where to start, we can jump on a free consultation call, I'd be happy to help you with it.

  "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." 3. Proverbs 4:23

2. Don’t Allow Guilt or Pressure to Rush the Process

• Why it’s important: The desire for companionship, someone to talk to, and emotional support can create a longing for a relationship. Parenting can be overwhelming, especially when done alone. You might feel emotionally drained or unsupported, and the idea of finding someone to share the load (even if just emotionally) is tempting. However, rushing into a relationship out of fear of loneliness or societal expectations can lead to unhealthy choices.

• Tip: Trust God’s timing. Your value isn’t defined by whether or not you’re in a relationship. Take it slow and prioritise what aligns with God’s plan for you, rather than seeking validation from the dating world. Trusting in His timing allows us to rest in the assurance that everything will unfold as it should.

  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

3. Do Be Honest About Your Needs and Expectations Early On

• Why it’s important: Transparency early in the dating process can save you from heartache later. It’s important to be clear about your role as a mother, your priorities, and what you're looking for in a long-term partner.

• Tip: Don’t feel the need to hide your role as a mother or minimise the impact it has on your life. A strong, healthy partner will embrace the reality that your children are a top priority. Let them know upfront that a true partnership means understanding your family dynamic.

  You do not want to start off a relationship on a lie or any dishonesty.

  "Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." Colossians 3:9-10

4. Don’t Let “Nice good looking guy” Syndrome Blind You

• Why it’s important: Many Christian single mothers feel drawn to a man who seems kind and helpful (it's the cherry on the cake when he's good looking)...who wouldn't? However it may not be the right long-term partner. A “nice guy” may not always be the best match in terms of shared values, compatibility, or spiritual alignment.

• Tip: Look beyond surface-level niceness and evaluate character. How does he handle stress, disappointment, and his own relationships? Does he share your faith values, and is he ready to embrace your children as part of the package? A good looking guy is not always a good fit for your life. You need to look at the full picture.

  "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

5. Do Set Boundaries and Keep Your Standards High

• Why it’s important: Boundaries are vital to maintaining your peace, your kids’ well-being, and your integrity. Having clear boundaries about time, communication, emotional and physical intimacy prevents you from compromising in ways that are not healthy for you or your children.

• Tip: Don’t let anyone push your boundaries, even if they seem well-meaning. Have clear rules around dating (such as when to introduce your kids, what kind of language and behavior are acceptable, and the importance of showing respect for your family dynamic). Healthy boundaries will filter out those who aren’t ready for the responsibility of a blended family.

  "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

Bonus Empowerment Tip:

• Don’t Lose Your Identity: It’s easy to become so absorbed in your role as a mother that you forget who you are as a person outside of motherhood. Stay connected to your own hobbies, passions, and goals.

• Tip: Develop and nurture your identity beyond being a mum. This will not only keep you fulfilled but also set the tone for a balanced relationship where you’re seen and valued as an individual, not just a mother.

  "Since you are precious and honoured in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life." Isaiah 43:4

  You are loved.

These tips are aimed at encouraging your self-care, fostering your wisdom in decision-making, and honouring your values as a Christian single mother. You deserve a relationship that respects your role as a mother while also building something strong and fulfilling.

My Dating Workbook is your go-to guide for building meaningful relationships while staying true to your values, check it out!